


When Light Dies

by rubberglue



Series: A Different World [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2012-08-16
Packaged: 2017-11-12 06:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubberglue/pseuds/rubberglue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The end of some things mark the beginning of others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Light Dies

The news spread quickly through town but until Merlin confirmed it, Gwen still held out hope. How many times had she heard rumours of Arthur’s death? How many times had he returned, injured, tired but still alive? She stood at the parapet, looking over the main gate, waiting.

Merlin would not let Arthur die.

+

She stood with all the servants, far from the knights and nobles who lined the route the body took from the castle to the burial grounds. Around her, people cried and moaned yet her eyes remained dry. She was no stranger to loss but this was different. They thought she had lost a prince. But Arthur was more than her prince. He was her heart, her hope, her future.

And now it was over. A lightning bolt from Morgause, Merlin said. He didn’t suffer.

Once she had told him she wanted to watch him become the king that Camelot deserves. But she never told him how much he meant to her personally.

The body moved down the route and Gwen stood on her toes, her hands playing with the piece of cloth she gave Arthur a long time ago when he pretended to be a commoner. Her heart felt empty, numb. Craning her neck, she watched the procession until she could not see them anymore.

She didn’t move even as the people slowly cleared the town square. Finally, alone, the first tear fell.

+

“I have to go.”

“Revenge won’t bring him back Merlin. And what makes you think you can take Morgause on? I just lost Arthur. I can’t lose you too.” Maybe courage was foolish. Maybe standing up for what you believed wasn’t worth it sometimes. Maybe it was better to keep your head down and stay alive.

In the aftermath of Arthur’s death, Gwen could see the tightly wound rage in Merlin mixed with intense guilt. He spent his days reading all sorts of old books until he slept. Then woke from nightmares. Gwen had taken to spending the nights in his room, insisting he eat, calming him down in the middle of the night and holding him as he sobbed. Some part of her was glad to have something else aside from her own pain to focus on.

“You don’t understand.”

“Then tell me, Merlin," she pleaded.

For a while, he hesitated. And then with a sigh, it all came out. His destiny, his magic, Morgana. “I failed Arthur, Gwen. If I don’t deal with Morgause, Camelot will fall. I can’t let that happen.”

Gentle, kind, sweet Merlin had magic. So many questions. So many emotions. But she looked up at him and saw the determination, the anger, the guilt in his eyes. She thought back on their friendship, on his love for Arthur. And then, there really was only one thing to say.

“Promise me you’ll come back.”

Merlin cupped her face. “I promise. Take care of yourself.”

A kiss to her forehead and he slipped out of the room.

+

She was scrubbing the floors when she heard footsteps. It was his boots she saw first.

“Merlin! You’re back.” Dropping the cloth, she flung herself at him. Something in her heart eased and she buried her face in his neck. He squeezed her and they stayed, clinging to each other, for a while. 

“How have you been?” He pushed the hair from her face. There was a sadness in his eyes but the guilt and rage were gone. “Tell me you’ve been fine.”

Twinning their fingers together, she smiled. It was small, but real, the first in a long time. “I’ve been fine.” And the smile that appeared on his face was just as sincere.


End file.
